Kareena Kapoor says overprotective parents may be holding children back; “But I feel maybe the protection is also….”

The discussion happened during a recent Koffee With Karan episode.

Parents often want to protect their children from disappointment, failure and difficult experiences. They step in when a child struggles, try to prevent mistakes and sometimes make decisions on their behalf. But could this constant protection also stop children from learning how to handle life independently?This question came up during a recent conversation on Koffee With Karan, featuring actors Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor. Filmmaker Karan Johar spoke about his concerns over his children potentially entering the film industry, admitting that he was already trying to discourage them from choosing that career.

“It’s not an easy place. It’s tough. I am almost dissuading my children from the business. And everybody says, ‘Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that?’” Karan said. Explaining his concerns, he added, “I am like, look, I will be too old to protect them at that time.”Kareena, however, offered a different perspective, suggesting that a parent’s instinct to protect children could sometimes become part of the problem. “But I feel maybe the protection is also what is causing the issue. I think sometimes we just have to, like, probably just… you know, we’re all so protective towards our children,” she said.The actor also reflected on how previous generations often gave children more freedom to make their own decisions and deal with the consequences. “I feel sometimes our parents just let us go and say, ‘Karni hai toh karo, you know, karo. You have to go and ‘ragdo,’” Kareena added. Karan agreed with her observation before the discussion moved on.

Why protecting children from every difficult experience can become a problem

Kareena with Saif Ali Khan.

Kareena’s observation raises an important parenting question: when does protecting a child become preventing them from growing? There is a difference between keeping children safe from genuine danger and stepping in every time they face discomfort. A child who is never allowed to handle disappointment, resolve a disagreement or make an age-appropriate decision gets fewer opportunities to practise these skills.For instance, when a child falls out with a friend, a parent may immediately intervene. When a child gets a poor grade, the parent may contact the teacher before allowing the child to understand what went wrong. Even when children struggle with a new activity, parents may be tempted to take over rather than let them figure it out.These responses may come from concern, but they can also communicate that children are not capable of handling difficult situations without adult intervention.

What parents can do differently

The answer is not to stop protecting children or leave them to deal with every problem alone. It is to recognise which situations require parental intervention and which ones can become opportunities for children to learn.Here are a few ways parents can practise this:Let children experience small failures: If a child forgets to pack something for school or performs poorly in a test, resist the urge to immediately fix the situation. Allow them to understand what happened and think about what they could do differently next time.Do not resolve every disagreement: When children have an argument with a friend or sibling, give them a chance to explain their side and work towards a solution before stepping in.Allow age-appropriate decisions: Let children choose their hobbies, decide how to organise their study time or take responsibility for small everyday tasks. They may not always make the decision a parent would prefer, but they get an opportunity to understand its consequences.Avoid treating discomfort as danger: Feeling nervous before a performance, struggling with a new activity or being disappointed by a friend’s behaviour does not always mean a child needs rescuing. Sometimes they need encouragement and time to work through the experience.Offer support without taking control: Instead of immediately telling children what to do, ask them what they think their options are. This allows parents to guide them while giving them room to think independently.Kareena’s observation also highlights a distinction worth considering in modern parenting: children need parents who are available when things go wrong, but they also need opportunities to discover what they can manage on their own.Protecting children from genuine harm remains a parent’s responsibility. But protecting them from every mistake, uncomfortable conversation or disappointing outcome can mean taking away experiences through which they learn to make decisions and deal with consequences.